That's the Way the Cookie Crumbles
by SoiArt
Summary: A cookie bag, an irritated blonde, and a comically annoying dobe... AU. Rating: M Pairing: SasuNaru/NaruSasu


**A/N: Okay, so this was done on a whim, and *shrugs* I think it came out pretty good. **

**Warning: Rated M+... Language and some sexual stuff**

**Paring: SasuNaru**

**Disclaimer: The dobe and teme do not belong to me... **

**IT IS AN AU**

**Read, Review, and Enjoy~ :)**

**XXXX**

Naruto glared daggers at the chocolate chip cookie crumbs that had somehow made their way onto his algebra homework. Why was it, every time he tried to eat these blasted cookies he always made a huge mess. Sighing, he used his sleeve to brush the crumbs onto the floor.

"What?" A voice from behind him calls out.

Instinctively, Naruto tries to defend his territory by hiding the crumbs along with the lone bag of cookies.

"-can't even eat properly…Dobe." The voice from behind him continues.

Naruto arches his head back and comes face to face with the ever so popular Uchiha boy.

"What do you want, Teme?" He asks, more out of habit than anything else. God why couldn't the dark haired boy leave him alone; it wasn't as if he liked him. (Sasuke told Naruto on several occasions he'd be okay if the blonde went to sleep _permanently_)

"Nothing," Sasuke shrugged only adding to Naruto's already growing annoyance.

"Well," He began, "If you have nothing else to do, then go be boring elsewhere."

With that Naruto redirected his attention back to the pesky crumbs.

Sasuke being the dobe Naruto knows he is sees this as an opportunity to bother the blonde further.

"So what?" He said, snatching a cookie from the blonde's hand and inspecting it. This resulted in a very angry 'dude'. Sasuke ignores his protests. "You like cookies? I thought all you ate was that ramen shit?" It wasn't really a question, but a direct observation.

Not making eye contact, Naruto nods.

"Yeah, I like sweets…unlike some dark haired bastards"

Sasuke scoffs, "Whatever." He then proceeds to grab another cookie off Naruto's desk. He inspects it for any debris and then drops it into his mouth.

'Hey!" Naruto yells, smacking Sasuke's hand as he tries to retrieve another cookie from the bag. "Get your own!"

Sasuke smirks deviously, "Are you sure you want me to do that?" He asks, while closing in on the inattentive blonde.

Sensing the incoming danger, Naruto tries to back up, only to end up trapped between the wall and Sasuke.

_'Shit,'_ He thinks, _'Not this again, where is everyone…? _

Naruto looks around for anything to use to fend off the Uchiha boy's advances. Suddenly out of the corner of his eye he spots a ruler.

_'Not much, but it should be effective'_ He assumes. _'eh, might as well give it a try.'_

Naruto lunges for the ruler only to have his wrist caught in Sasuke's steel like grip.

_'No no no no no no no no-' _Naruto's mind goes blank as he meets Sasuke's heated gaze.

"Sasuke?" His asks, his voice almost pleading. Swiftly, Sasuke uses his hands to pin Naruto's arms above his head.

"Now what was that about me getting my own cookies… or should I say sweets" Sasuke purrs into the blonde's ear playfully. Naruto, however instantly pales.

"H-hey Sasuke, y-you can have mine. I was just playing before." Naruto chuckles nervously.

Sasuke raises an eyebrow, "Really?" He asks.

Naruto nods, "In fact, just take the entire bag."

"Hmm okay." With that Sasuke leans in capturing the blonde's lips. Shocked by the sudden intrusion of personal space, Naruto gasps giving the raven more room to invade his mouth. Sasuke's long muscle prods and explores the inside of the blonde's moist cavern. This causes Naruto to let out a lusty moan.

"Fuck~"

Sasuke grins at the blondes reactions. "Well isn't someone vocal," He says while using his hands to push up Naruto's shirt.

Naruto tries to free himself from Sasuke's grip but to no avail.

'Teme," He snarls.

Sasuke grinds his hips onto the blonde in hope for hearing more of his voice, though irritating on its own was fucking hot when moaning the Uchiha's name.

"S-Sasuke~" Naruto gasps as the pleasurable friction causes his knees to buckle.

_'No, this can't happen again…I wasn't able to walk straight the last time' _Naruto thought, recalling the last unfortunate encounter.

"Sasuke stop!" Naruto voice was more forceful as he tried to free himself.

Amazingly the Uchiha stopped all assaults on the blonde's body and slowly but surely released him.

"Why?" Sasuke asked his voice sounding hurt.

"Because I…_fuck…"_ Naruto fumbled with his words. How could he convey to Sasuke that up till then their relationship has been that of hatred. That couldn't just change into something more… could it? Plus he didn't want to be used as a quick fuck. That was just wrong.

Sasuke stared at the blonde for what seemed like the longest time.

"If you don't want this, then I have no right to force you… were you thinking something along those lines."

Naruto stopped himself from yelling 'Yes, you fucker, yes!'

Instead he dropped his head. "We're supposed to be enemies how can I just forget that and _you know…_Am I just some fuck toy you use every time you're horny or what? I can't be in that sort of relationship…

"I see...So if I made you my boyfriend then-"

Naruto held up a hand to stop him right there. "Were you listening to a word I just said?!"

"Y-yeah,"

Naruto groaned. For someone label as a genius, Sasuke was the biggest idiot he'd ever met and he knew a lot of idiots.

"We aren't compatible, we fight all the time, and you irritate the hell out of me. Plus if you haven't noticed I don't like things being shoved up my ass. Furthermore-"

"Okay, okay I get it. Let me just say this, I love you Naruto, always have always will. This is our last year of high school and I don't know if I'll ever see you again. Yeah, I guess it was too much to force my feelings on you like that but, God I can't take it."

Naruto blushed, "Stop that's embarrassing"

Sasuke smiled, "It's the truth, you fucking taunt me with your sexy ass and you're the only person who has the guts to call me out on my shit."

Naruto smiled halfheartedly, "That's not love asshole, that's something else… you don't love me… stop lying to yourself."

Sasuke's features hardened, "I'm telling you, I fucking love you!" Sasuke yelled.

"Such a way with words, is that Shakespeare I hear?" Naruto said sarcastically.

"Say what you will, you kissed back."

Naruto was rendered speechless. _'Shit'_ He forgotten about that, then again he was half naked.

"Psh, whatever…"

Sasuke replied with a smug smirk, "There's hope for me yet."

Naruto really wanted to punch Sasuke at the moment, so what if he secretly harbored similar feelings, he was a man...err…boy…umm…teen and that meant he was into women. Not a fruity raven haired guy with chiseled abs and a deep sexy voice and a long physic.

Sasuke smirked as he saw Naruto start drooling, "Thinking about me dobe?" He asked enjoying the look of pure horror the masked the blondes features.

"What, n-no..."

Sasuke leaned in close and whispered, "Because if you were I can make all your wettest dreams come true." He purred.

Its official Naruto was going to kill him. As soon as he stops rubbing his crotch…wait… RUBBING HIS CROTCH!

Naruto shuddered as the stupid teme massaged his now rock hard dick through the thin material. (How'd that happen?)

"All this time you said you didn't want me while here you are sporting such a nice erection."

Naruto felt his face turn three shades darker. Was it possible for someone to get turned on by words?

Sasuke took Naruto's hand in his and guided it to his own erection. Naruto flinched at the touch.

"Tsk, dobe you're such a pansy."

"I am not!" Determined Naruto palmed Sasuke's clothed erection causing the raven to go into a state of complete bliss.

"God~" He moaned breathlessly, "Do that again"

Unsure of what was happening Naruto increased the pressure as Sasuke was reduced to a sad excuse of a man, muttering obscurities and other sexual references.

Naruto smiled to think it was him bringing out these reactions in the raven. Maybe this wouldn't turn out as bad as he'd imagined.

Naruto knew Sasuke had similar feelings especially when he felt him release in his pants.

"Damn it~" Sasuke cursed as his knees buckled; luckily Naruto was able to catch him before he hit the ground. "That was so sexy, you made me cum with your hand…God I want you…"

Naruto blushed. "Shut up…teme…" Naruto followed Sasuke's gaze to his own problem.

"No," Naruto started to back away, "There is no way I'm cumming like a porn star in school"

Sasuke smirked knowingly, "its fine I have an idea that will leave us both happy and you clean."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "And?"

"And I'll give you a blow job" Sasuke stated casually.

"EH?! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE?!"

"Because I can, now drop those pants and let me see my prize."

Hesitantly Naruto unzipped his pants. As the material hit the ground, Sasuke dropped down to his knees, a lax expression covering his features.

"Whoa, what have we got here?" Sasuke removed the blonde's boxers in one swift motion. Leaving Naruto's length exposed to the chill air.

"God, that's cold…" Naruto exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around himself, "Sasuke?"

But, the Uchiha's mind was focused elsewhere. Sasuke eyed the blonde's dick, as if entranced by it.

"So~" He asked looking up at Naruto, "Have you ever done this?"

Naruto's jaw dropped. "WHAT!" How could the other male be so calm? "Of course I haven't done this… I'm not gay…" He mumbled the last part.

Sasuke smirked, "Well, _Naruto _your dick begs to differ." With the utmost of precision Sasuke traced the head of Naruto's cock with his tongue leaving a thin trail of saliva.

Naruto felt as pleasure ripped inside of him. _'Damn, why did this feel so good, it was Sasuke for goodness sakes._

"Ahhh~!" Naruto let out another breathless moan as the raven latched on and began to move his head up and down, taking in more of the blonde with each descent.

Sasuke growled, as he began to stroke the blonde in time with his descents.

"S-Sasuke I-I'm g-g-gonna…ARGH~!" Naruto climaxed hard and Sasuke lapped up ever drop like a starved cat.

"You taste amazing~" He said grinning at the blonde.

Naruto gave him a weak smile as he grabbed the other head and brought their lips together.

The kiss was messy and uncoordinated, teeth clashed and scratches marked bodies as the two desperately kissed one another.

"I love you Dobe…" Sasuke moaned biting the blondes lip, until it was raw. Naruto gasped at the pain.

"Damn it teme…" Naruto grumbled as he returned the gesture.

Sasuke redirected his kisses to Naruto's neck as he marked him as his own.

"That'll teach all those bitches… _You're Mine Now"_

Naruto smiled at the uncharacterized possessiveness of his new lover.

"Whatever," Naruto said as he snuggled closer to the raven's chest, "Just make sure I get to top once in a while."

Sasuke smirked deviously, "Oh, sure" He said pulling the blonde closer so that their faces were almost touching, "I'll let you top …when you ride me."

Naruto's face flushed blood red, "Bastard!" He snarled lunging at the other only to end up tripping on his pants and falling face first, ass exposed in the air.

"Yep, that position could do too…" Sasuke watch as anger courses through the blonde.

"Kidding, I'm just kidding…" He helps Naruto up and hands him his clothes.

Quickly Naruto dresses in record time, "so..." He asks hesitantly "What are we…now I mean…"

"_Lovers~!"_ Sasuke says as he kissed the blonde one last time before making his escape towards the door. "Oh, and Naruto, no one comes to school on Labor Day, so go home."

'Labor Day!?' Naruto pulls out his phone. As he flicks on the screen, it says "Labor Day, No school. Hang out with Kiba" in large black letters.

_'Well that explains why no one walked in on us.'_

Naruto follows Sasuke into the halls, "Teme!" He calls out, "What are YOU doing here?"

Sasuke shakes his head solemnly, "As class president I must help make sure everything is ready and that no dobes" He pokes Naruto's forehead, "-are causing trouble."

Naruto rubs his head, "Tsk whatever…"

As the two leave the building, Naruto makes sure to collect his cookie bag from the now deserted classroom.

_'Maybe crumbs weren't that bad after all' _He mused as he cased after _his _raven.

**XXXX**

**A/N: So... whatdaya think? **

**Review and chastise me nicely...**

**~Soi "Fantabulous" Art~**


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